There's No Reset Button On This Game

Anyone else out there ever have those moments when you're just sick of being yourself? You know what, I'm just going to assume you do too. It makes me feel better.
Maybe I'm just dude-PMSing, but lately I've been feeling... I think restricted is the right word. As if there's a million things that I know I want to have and things I want to do, but I don't know what most of them are and I can't do the rest.

I feel like the best thing to do, RIGHT NOW, is go find a girl that I like, walk straight up to her and kiss her till she's breathless, then leave my old life behind with her as we journey across the land to find true purpose and happiness. We'd save the world, write a book about it, have two beautiful, intelligent children, and grow old together watching the sunset every night together at our home in the countryside. Oh, and there would be a giant tree like Forrest Gump had.

Of course, that smart, reasonable, thinking side of me knows that this is a crazy idea. That even assuming that I got the kiss and ran off with the girl (Hey, it could happen, I've been told I'm a pretty good kisser), the rest of that crap would never happen. Chances are, we'd run out of money, get crappy jobs to survive, and then she'd leave me for a biker named Buster. So don't get me wrong, I know well enough not to try it.

But you gotta admit, it's an appealing idea.

Think about it. If I could really do that, if I felt that I was entering the doldrums of my life wanted to make a huge change and live a new life, with a new person, with nothing but excitement and adventure ahead? If I could reinvent myself, leaving behind everything I didn't like about myself and taking on all the traits I'd always wished I had?

Hell yeah, I'd do it. And I hope you would be brave enough to do the same.

But, like I said, it doesn't work that way. There's no big red "RESET" button to press that will let us start over and be the people we want to be. And leaving everything behind, though it might work for some, won't work for most. So, I'm pushing myself out the doldrums in smaller ways. I'm trying new things, I'm talking to new people and some people that I haven't talked to in awhile, I'm working out again. Because I know that the changes I want to see in myself aren't just going to show up. If I want to be more confident, I have to step up and prove to myself that I am not a failure. If I want to look better, I have to get my ass out of bed and make myself move. And if I want to find that person who's going to watch the sunset with me when I'm old, I have to quit wishing and go look for her.

Yeah, it's hard. Yeah, it'd be a lot nicer if life worked like it does in the movies and you would just fall into the situations and people you always wanted without having to find them first. But it doesn't. And wishing it did isn't going to help.

This is as much for all of you out there as it is for me. None of us are perfect, and all of us have things that we want to, and can, change about our lives. But the way to start seeing those changes is to just START. Not tomorrow, not next week, today. Commit yourself to it and you'll be amazed at the results, I'm feeling better already.

But the only way to get yourself out of the doldrums is to paddle. So I guess we'd better get started.