The Kiwi Birds: Most Inspiring/Depressing Birds Ever

Before you start reading this, you have to promise me three things:
1. That you'll actually watch the video
2. You won't attempt what you see in the video
3. And you won't let it drag you down into depression.

OK? Pinky swear? Keeping in mind that if you break a pinky swear you WILL be kidnapped and placed in a Saw-style warehouse of traps where wild dogs will chase you until Mandy Patinkin (AKA Inigo Montoya) rescues you.

The best part? Only like five people in the world know what specific incident I'm referring to right now.

OK? Alright, go ahead and watch it.



Did you watch it?

You didn't watch it, did you. SCROLL UP AND WATCH IT OR I WILL RELEASE THE HOUNDS.


In case you don't know anything about kiwi birds and thus didn't get the video:
Kiwi birds cannot fly.

Probably cause they're so fat. It's called a treadmill, fatty bird.

That inspiring bird who has probably spent his entire life climbing up and down a cliff with trees on his back? Yeah, he's committing glorious suicide to fulfill his life-long dream of being in the cool bird club, the club for birds that can get their feathery butts high in the sky.

Like this falcon! Wait...

I seriously got all teary when I watched that video. It's all cute and fuzzy, the kiwi is using tools with his beak, and then you realize what's going on and BAM. Right in the heart strings, playing them like a banjo. Sigh... Oh Kiwi, couldn't you have started with parasailing or something before skipping straight to building a flight simulator consisting of trees and jumping off a cliff?
Probably not, because I don't think modern parasailing equipment is designed for the average kiwi bird.

They're just too darn fat.

That's all I have to say about inspiring/incredibly sad kiwi birds for now. Two things before I go:
1. Two posts in one day. Why hasn't my Pulitzer Prize gotten here yet? They probably picked the cheapest shipping.
2. See that little logo at the top of your screen next to the website address? Yeah, that took WAAAAAY too much time to get up there, I seriously spent a good hour and a half trying to figure it out. Please take a second to admire it so I don't feel like it was a complete waste of time.

And this will be on the midterm. Remember: Kiwi birds cannot fly because they are too darn fat. If the word 'evolution' appears in your answer you will fail.

P.S On a serious note, please comment if you have time, I'm still messing around with the format of this thingy and any feedback on what you like and don't like so far would be appreciated. Thanks!