Yeah, We Has It! or Why Having A Brother Is Cool

I have a brother. I know, it's a pretty common condition, but hear me out. The cool thing about having someone that you grew up around, shared a room with for a good chunk of your life, and who also emerged from the same womb as you is that you tend to think alike.

Womb-emerging not pictured for obvious reasons.

Case in point, my sibling recently came up with a new ad campaign for pretty much any business in the galaxy that I'm pretty sure is one of the best things ever. Just picture this commercial: A guy walks into a store, picture a big-box kind of place (Walmart, Target, whatever). He walks up to an employee and says, "Excuse me, do you has t-shirt?" The employee looks at him and responds, "Yeah, we has it!" The guy gets excited and asks, "Well, do you has copiers?" The employee responds excitedly, "Yeah, we has it!!" This can go on for a couple different items, but the guy and the employee just keep getting more excited, eventually yelling back and forth, "DO YOU HAS IT?!?!" "YEAH, WE HAS IT!!!". 

Like THIS excited.

Cut to logo of the store, with the slogan "Yes, you CAN has it." And you can customize that to fit any business. McDonald's? "Burgers? Yes, you CAN has cheeseburger." Puppy stores? "Yes, you CAN has puppy." The possibilities are virtually endless. I say 'virtually' because I didn't do the math and I don't want to.
Now don't lie. If every time you walked into a store or restaurant and asked for something, the employees responded with a cheerful "Yeah, we has it!" or "Yes, you can has it!" you'd buy a lot more stuff. Granted, you'd probably also spend a lot more time in Wal-Mart forcing the employees to say stuff like, "Yes, you CAN has sex lube!" but that's the price they pay for working there.

That, and they have to see stuff like this. Rawr. 

(Editor's note: if the above picture made you start singing "Who's That Lady?" to yourself, seek medical attention.)

The coolest thing about this whole idea, to me anyway, is that as soon as he started talking about it I could picture it exactly the way he was. We spent the rest of that day inserting "Yes, you CAN has it!" into pretty much every sentence we could. And I know that a lot of you reading this aren't going to think that this is as cool and hilarious an idea as we obviously do, but I don't care. Half the jokes we tell are such obscure references that the rest of the world wouldn't get it anyway. And honestly, that's one of my favorite things about having my fellow womb-escapee around.

Moral of the story: Womb is a fun word to type. Try sneaking it into your next school paper, kids!