Keep Reaching For The Sousaphone

Women. Am I right, fellas? Trying to figure them and out and pick the right one out of the pack is like.... Like... Like you're a giraffe trying to play the sousaphone.

Courtesy of Left-Handed Toons

          

It's really hard, seems impossible, but you know that if you could just get it right it'd be the greatest thing in your life. Wait, no one really likes the sousaphone... Whatever, it would still be pretty cool. And since I'm such a sensitive, emotional, thoughtful, smart, attractive, athletic, well-groomed, good-smelling, gentlemanly... I'm getting off topic.
Anyway, I've been thinking about my past relationships a lot lately, mostly because whenever one ends I'm immediately convinced that it's all my fault and I examine everything I did wrong like it's CSI.

YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!

But this time I ended thinking about all the girls I've had relationships with, and I realized something kinda interesting: they're all completely different. In terms of personality, intelligence, what they liked and disliked, even their ancestry. That last one was really cool to me, especially when I remembered that I could put little pins in Japan and Russia on my "Girlfriends of the World" map. You know, the huge one that I keep in my living room.

The point of this isn't to brag about how many girlfriends I've had or to talk about how great a boyfriend I am. Truth be told, I wasn't that great a boyfriend to some of those girls. But one piece of advice that I got that's helped me a lot is to not think of those relationships as failures, just to think of them as practice. I mean, we all know that the person you date for 4 months in the 9th grade isn't going to be your soulmate. Most of the people we meet and form romantic relationships with aren't going to be "the one". So there's no point in beating yourself up and blaming yourself when those relationships end, no matter whose fault it is. Just take the lessons you've learned, along with the things you learned to like and the skills you gained, and bring them to the next person smart enough to see how great you are.

All those different girls and women that came in and out of my life taught me something different about myself, and those relationships were lessons in what the ideal relationship for me truly is. I've learned bits and pieces of languages, I've tried new foods, seen new movies. I've had arguments about all kinds of stuff, learned how to just let stuff go instead of being a dick, how to let people do things the way they want to (even if I'm so sure my way is better), and that I need to stop trying to fix everyone all the time. And I've gotten a pretty good picture of the life I want to have with the woman who wants to be there with me. Like I said, I wasn't always a good boyfriend. But I'm keeping the lessons I've learned so that I can be a great one someday.

Reaching the sousaphone isn't easy. But if you keep stretching for it, some day you'll be there. And then you can annoy all your single friends with how much fun you're having.