Showing posts with label rich. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rich. Show all posts

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Paid For By The Committee To Make Me Super Rich

OMG shoes.
Sweet, sweet feet covers.

I got new Converse. TWO PAIRS AT THE SAME TIME. My life is like Christmas, but all the time. Anyway, enough bragging about how super I am. I've recently realized that it would really be in everyone's best interest if I became super rich at some point in the future. How rich, you ask? Rich enough that I every time I felt like buying someone something, I could. Picture this:
Random friend: "I wish I had a Kindle, those things are hip-hoppin phresh, yo!"
One week later
Me: "Hello friend, I bought you a Kindle and a gift card for $100 on Amazon so you can start buying books! I hope it brings you great joy for the rest of your life!"
Random friend: "Thanks dawg! I finna get my read on at the local libary!"
*Scampers off through the wheat field*

This is how happy that guy is right now. You know you want in on that.
Sure, people say money doesn't buy happiness, but you know what? I think those people are doing something wrong. For me, money means not only can I go out and buy stuff that I want, I can get people stuff that they want too. And that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside like there's a burning poodle in my chest. I didn't realize this until recently, but I really love giving people things and compliments. Watching someone's eyes light up when I say something as simple as "Your hair looks really good today" makes me feel as good as the person getting complimented. And showing up with a present that you wanted but couldn't get yourself? Oh MAN, that's a good day for me.

So, let's review. I get a billion dollars, and the rest of you guys get to have cool stuff cause I like you. No downside. Plus I'd get to wear this thing everyday:

And ain't nothing wrong with that.
Just think about it. And stay on my good side, no stuff for the people I don't like.