OK, not really. But assume I am, otherwise this post just makes it seem like I'm thinking about death all the time.
Like this poor kid. Get him some friends. Preferably tall, blond, blue-eyed ones.
So, since I'm dying and all, here's a couple of things I'd really like to do before I stick the spoon in the roof, as it were.
1. Climb The Excalibur
Before I start, this is the Excalibur climbing wall:
Oooh yeah. Daddy like.
It's 121 feet tall (making it the tallest climbing wall in the world), can be climbed on every side, curved to make it more challenging, and oh yeah, it's in Amsterdam. In case you didn't know, Amsterdam is that mythical country in Europe where everything is legal, including prostitution, smoking pot, and pretty much anything except toddler murder.
Queen Beatrix says, "No toddler murder. It's just too easy."
Climbing stuff has always been super fun to me, so going to a foreign country and climbing the world's tallest something would be pretty sweet. Plus then I'd be able to say, "I climbed... THE EXCALIBUR!!" and then have trumpets blow a fanfare like I'm King Arthur. You can't tell me that wouldn't be sweet.
2. Learn To Play The Harmonica
I like harmonicas. Don't judge, I'm pretty sure you can't do this:
I like it. I actually bought a harmonica recently, though I've been refraining from starting to practice until I won't be torturing my roommates with my completely inept attempts to play it. Just be glad that I didn't decide to save up and start teaching myself the bagpipes (which I've also always enjoyed). Just imagine hearing this from next door early in the morning:
Though everyone knows that chicks do dig bagpipes...
3. See Something Crazy And Take A Picture Of It
Something really out there and weird like... I don't know, like this:
I pity these guys' girlfriends. "Honey, wanna have sex?" "Meh."
Pictures like these crack me up, depending on how bored I am I might spend a couple hours just flipping through a forum of stuff like this. I'd really like to contribute to the Internet's collection of crazy pictures in some meaningful way. Especially if I put a really funny caption on there and everyone loves it. Then it's like millions of people who don't know me like me! And isn't that what we're all striving for?
...No? Oh, OK then. I guess you can put "Not Being Liked" on your bucket list.
And then go ahead and check it off now.
